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HOW TO GET THROUGH A BREAKUP

Hello Rafikis,

How are you all doing? I hope you are keeping well. It is so important to take time off to take care of your mental. Many are the times we take advantage of our mental health not realizing that mental health is just as important as physical health.

It’s alright not to be okay! It’s alright to be selfish when it comes to guarding your self. Take time off to ensure you are okay.

I am so happy because I’ve gotten to spend the past few days with my family. I finally got hugs from my mum 🙈. It’s GOOD to be home!

I am currently in Kenya! Woop woop and I’m so excited to make new memories over the next few weeks I’ll be around. I’d love to collaborate with any creative who is interested with working with me. Kindly comment below any creatives you think I should link up with and also what type of content you would be interested in.

Today I’m going to get personal with you, no I am not going to share with you who broke my heart or how they broke it. Instead I will share with you the ways in which I managed to get through the break up. Let’s face it, not every one gets it right on their first relationship. I wish I did, but things do not always go as planned. Chances are high you will get your hear broken once in your life. It sucks but such is life.

The truth is that break ups are not the easiest thing to deal with. I mean who gets into a relationship with someone else prepared for it to end? (okay maybe some people do but i’m referring to serious people here).

Many people choose to block,trash talk or burn their ex’s things. Others opt to replace their ex’s by rebounding. The issue the above mentioned things is that they are based on other people. I believe the best thing to do is to work on your self, focus on yourself instead of trying to hurt the other person.

Below I’ve listed several ways in which young people can heal from heart break.

 React 

Get angry! Be sad! Comfort eat or go out with friends! Allow yourself to react to the situation. Allow yourself to mourn your loss. Take your time, Be it an hour or a week , allow yourself to cry. If it is your portion, tell the other person how much they’ve hurt you. Shout at them but resist the urge to block them (it’s petty). Allow yourself to weep.

 Pick yourself up 

Mourn as much as you please , but remember that night will end and day will come. When day arrives you must pick yourself up! You cannot mourn forever, life must go on. You must remember you were lit before them and that you will continue to be so after them. No one is worth being down for! Get a grip of those emotions, get up and do what needs to get done!

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Acceptance 

Accept that you have been hurt, accept that the future between you and them has been terminated. Your dreams of being together with person have been shattered. You must accept your new single status. Do not rush yourself! Be it changing your relationship status, returning  their things or deleting their pictures. There is no correct way to accept things. Do not feel rushed to announce it to spectators.Handle things in a way you dim fit for yourself.

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Healing

Do not allow one or two or three bad experiences to break your spirit. Do not let your heart turn cold because of a break up. I know it’s so easy to say that because of the hurt you will not let anyone back into your heart. However take time off to heal. Healing for me came from Finding Grace and deepening my relationship with God. Yoga and medoration were also very helpful. Find what makes your heart whole and use it to help you heal.

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Forgiveness

Forgive yourself. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself . It’s easy to say things like “Maybe if I did this or that he would have stayed” Chances are high that there is nothing you could do to keep him. However if you actually did something wrong, accept your role and forgive yourself.

 If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing you do can make him stay.

You should also forgive the other person. Whether they cheated on you, treated you like crap or simply wasted your time, just forgive them. Even if they are not sorry for their actions just forgive them. Forgiving them is for you not for them! By forgiving them you set yourself free from the hurt.

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies- Nelson Mandela

 

Snap back

Spoil yourself! Cut your hair ! Do your nails, Change up your wardrobe and get that revenge body. Not because you want the other person to realise that you are the best thing they ever had but because you feel good when you look good. Post break up is the best best season to remind your self that you are that b****.  Be your own hype woman!

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A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life- Coco Chanel

 

Stay busy 

Keep busy! Whether it’s focusing on your academic work, or on a hobby. Keep yourself busy, that way you have less time to feel sorry for yourself. Stay distracted doing this that you love and things that will add value to your future.

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Chase Dreams 

Go back to the drawing board and look at your ambitions. Look at the previous goals you set for yourself and evaluate your progress. Set challenging goals. Be it starting a business, reviving a blog or scoring that job. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone! Try out  new things be it sky diving, zip lining or a salsa class.

Overcoming other challenges in your life reaffirms your ability to overcome the heart break

Take time off 

Do not rush into another relationship. It’s important to learn to be by yourself. Learn to love your own company. Masterdate,  take yourself to the beach, to the cinema and for ice cream dates. Meditate on your future goals. Work on falling deeper in love with your self love. Re-affirm your worth. Do not settle for less or rebound. Love yours! Being single is actually not a bad thing, cherish the moments you have alone.

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Invest in platonic relationships 

Spend more time with friends and family. Be there for them , find out what is going in their lives and support them. Take a girls trip with them! Learn to value platonic relationships as much as you value romantic relationships.

 

Give love a second chance 

Above all else, Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it – Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart but do not let a bad experiences put you off love. Be open to new experiences and to making new memories. Not all men are trash, maybe the majority of them are but they are good guys out there. Maybe you just need to revaluate the kind of guys you give a chance but do not rule all guys out. Stop allowing “Jaymos or Cheers Baba” guys to break your heart. Set high standards and keep them.

And most importantly, do not be envious of those in relationships. Instead wish them well and wait on your own blessings!

If you are experiencing heart break remember you are not the first or the last one to do so, time heals all wounds.

DisclaimerI am not a relationship expert, I am just a girl sharing advise based on personal experience. This guide is not set in stone and may not be effective for all.

Please do comment below what you think of my tips and share your own experiences too.

Till next time Rafikis.

Location- The Hub Karen
Hair- Lemonade braids 🍋- Stall 100
Dress- Sister’s ward robe
Nails-  Rose Gold Gel Nails 💅🏾by Kent Nails
Jewellery – Rose Gold Rings 💍 from Accesorize
Purse- Rose Gold Purse from Clarks

 

 

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7 thoughts on “HOW TO GET THROUGH A BREAKUP

  1. I think im at the snap back part at the moment. Awesome advice. I love reading your work amd i have also seen some of your achievements. Thry really motivate me. Would like to meet yhis awesome lady someday

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kylie you inspire me alot u spoke to me today after being in a break up less than a week ,you are God sent thanks for the inspiring testimony i think we should catch up and hang out as old time besties i really love your work thanks

    Like

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