Social Media Cleanse

‘ I tried to tell my cousin that she can take pictures that ain’t for the gram, that these moments still happen even though people don’t see it but she’s young so she’s like yeah yeah whatever!’

Suli Breaks – Notes from Ewer Street (Yeah Whatever)

So the other day I decided took a week off social media for the first time in my life.  I dont know if any of you can relate but I usually spend a significant amount of my day on social media, be it the gram, snapchat, facebook or youtube. I’m always keeping up with people’s lives that I don’t even care about.

Heres a link to a post I did on the effects of  social media https://wordpress.com/post/kylieachi.wordpress.com/471

I realised it was a problem when I fell for Lydia Dinga’s proposal prank (shout out to Kenyan Youtubers though)! How is it possible to get so invested in a strangers life?

At first it was difficult to resist  the urge to check the sites, but eventually it got easier to do.  It was so refreshing! I loved it, you realise that we sometimes become slaves to these things.

We get so invested in people’s lives and in trying to impress other people that we forget to actualise our own full potential. I particularly struggle with snapchat , whether it’s testing out a new filter or constantly checking to see who has viewed my story! It’s hectic! It’s insane we are quick to snap our flashy lifestyle’s and over romanticized relationships on social media to gain street credit.

During my break I had time to reflect on my own life and engage with my thoughts. See every moment that I’d spend checking snap or Facebook was spent instead reflecting. I was able to deal with hurdles I’m facing currently in my life, I was able to refresh my life and spend more time planning and investing in my future!

I’d definitely recommend it! Live your best life for you! You’ll come to realise that those who truly care about you will find their way to you. Forget the people who assume you are okay based off your snapchat story (I’m guilty of this too) because your true friends will actually call you to check up on you. They will make plans to meet up with you if possible.

Do you not think that it’s crazy that some people will be the first to view you stories but will never ever send you a message or even comment on your posts? People are just out here creeping to see what you are up to.

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Take time off to care for your mental

On my return back to the gram , I realised that I had too many people on there who either i had never personally met or spoken too. I had people who I used to interact with years ago and people that cut me off a long time ago. I had inappropriate men that I knew sliding into my DMs and real friends that I hadn’t reached out too either.

So I began to cut them off, see not everyone needs to be involved in your personal ! Some people have negative vibes , they need to be cut off. Not everyone wishes you well! Some people are advocating for your downfall! Fagia wote!

Be careful about what you expose yourself too, if you indulge the lives of the massess you will miss out on your own.I challenge you to take a social media cleanse once in a while , it will surprise you how out of touch we get with our reality.

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MORE LIFE

More Life is a phrase in Jamaican patwah

English Translation – Better Life

Definition
To live a better, more successful and longer life.

 

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I’ve been seeking more! Have your ever felt like you weren’t living your best life?

I  recently began to feel like I wasn’t living my best life. My life seems to be one repetitive cycle where I do the same thing i.e study , party, go to church. recycle.png

I seem to be losing purpose. I am a aware that what I do in the next 5 years will determine the rest of my life i.e. the kind of work I do, the kind of income I generate, the kind of man/ or lack of man I marry .
I know that I need to work on myself , fall in love with myself and live my best life.

1.I intend to read more. Believe me when I say that even though I study law some of the greatest lessons I have learned were outside the classroom.

2. I intend to date more , master date – the act of dating one self (whether it’s an ice cream date I fancy, a movie I’d love to watch, or a trip to the beach) , don’t wait for a man to do the things you love to do.

3. I intend to date men too in order to learn what I like and what I don’t like in a potential partner.

4. I intend to travel more, my friend keeps pushing me to try out couch surfing and I’ve been challenged !

5. Save ! Save ! Save, it’s a culture I need to have already developed but it’s never too late! I will begin even by saving £10 a month !

6.Enrich my conversations and friendships. I need to cut off all negative vibes (tbh I have like two friends these days so it’s not like there is much to cut off ) but I will secure my tribe and roots and work on enriching those friendships. We must build each other!

7. Surround my self with goal oriented people, you know the friend that’s starting a business , a blog or even securing a big internship. Hold on to such people , they will inspire you to go far.

8. Take Risks! Be it bungee jumping, petting a cat, or even walking on fire! I’m about to start taking risks , big risks . I get satisfaction from challenging myself !

9. More Prayer and Bible study, ultimately, I recognise that all the great things I achieve are impossible without The Father up in Heaven.

10. Interact more with my family , I love my family but I wish to love them and interact with them even more deeply. At the end of the day blood is thicker than water! They will forever be a part of my life !

11. Stop caring about what other people think! Ultimately I need to be able to be satisfied with myself and be my own biggest critic (in a positive way) !

12. Figuring out my future ! Masters ! Internships ! Jobs! , I’ll talk more about this in a different post!

13. Yoga! I need to get back into the hang of it! Not only do I need it for my summer body but also for my mental wellbeing! I need to be one with myself.

14. Affirmations! Thoughts become things! Write down my dreams , my visions and practice the law of attraction. If you haven’t read the secret, i’ll advise you to do so.

15. Take up a new hobby, be it dance or an instrument ! I’m yet to figure this out.

SELF LOVE

Hello wonderful people,

I’ll cut my apology short this time around and just let you know that law school is hard. Scratch that! Life is hard! I feel like the life lessons learn we learn whilst at University are more valuable than the actual degree. I am learning to balance school, run a society,work and maintain a social and a spiritual life. Hopefully that explains my silence, I know it doesn’t justify it but I was start to feel like I didn’t have much knowledge to give too. Anyway I digress

This morning I came across a picture posted by lovely cousin Lesley on Instagram. The caption read

Feeling loved is the best feeling, but the most precious love is loving yourself

This was so powerful for me because it had me reflecting on my own life. It’s so easy for us to forget who we really are amongst the voices of other people. It’s so easy to feel like less of a person especially around a system that was created to put you down.

The other day my sister mentioned to me that I say sorry too often even when I don’t need to. I realised I began to undermine my own abilities to make decisions for myself. I can proudly say that at the age of 19 , I have experienced and continue to experience things that are way beyond my level and I take pride in that. Needless to say I know there more people out there who experience greater things than I do , younger than me.

I believe seeking advise from others is important and crucial , however at the end of the day you are the only one who has to live with the decisions you make and therefore always ensure you follow your heart. If you desire never seek validation from the world.

Love yourself enough to trust that you have your own best interests at heart. Love yourself enough to stay pure to yourself even when others try to put you down. Love yourself enough to say no to anything that is not there to grow you. Love yourself dearly, before you endeavour to love another.

There’s no such thing as a life much better than yours- Jcole

Advice or nah

Hallo! I don’t know where to begin, it’s been a long time since we last spoke. Actually, not really but it seems like it has been a long time. I say this because of all the events that have taken place over the last month, from Juba, Nice, Ankara to Munich. My deepest regards to all those who have been affected by violence across the world.

I write this post physically exhausted but mentally motivated, chances are high that I shall fall asleep. I gave in to the sleep unfortunately. Unlike, many women out there I find it challenging to multi task, I don’t know if I’m unable to split my attention into two or maybe it’s just an excuse for me not to exercise all my brain cells. I don’t know really, but that’s why I have been silent. For all of you who have been wondering where I have been the past month. I was blessed with the  opportunity to intern at an amazing Senior Counsels law firm. He taught me the first lesson in law was to maintain confidentiality.

‘Learn to keep your mouth shut’ – SC

He taught me many other exciting things which I will forever hold dear to my heart.

Speaking of advice, have any of you established where to draw the line in accepting advice?Advice can be such an amazing thing especially from people who are dear to your heart as sometimes those around us are more likely to see things from the outside which we are unable to see due to bias or clouded judgement. However it is always important to note that they are individuals who love to give unsolicited advice. Not all the advice you are given is suitable for you. My advice to you is to listen to what people have to say.

‘Listen to others even the dull and ignorant as they too have their story’- Desiderata

Once you have heard them then you can chose what to do with the advise they have shared with you. Always remember that there is the danger of a single story, there is always the risk of bias. I remember in my history class when we were taught that some sources may be useful but not reliable due to the bias of the author.

‘Until the lion learns to write, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter’

I often like to take the advice I’m given with a pinch of salt, especially when it is negative advice about a person. Gone are the days I would dislike a person purely because my friend disliked the person as well.

 

Life as International student: East or West, Home is Best.

As I embarked on my journey to University in September, I was so excited for the adventure that lay ahead of me. I decided I was starting a fresh, a new chance at life,  I had the opportunity to be who ever I wanted to be (how refreshing is that). When I landed in London and even at Kent, I knew I would love the place, so any way fast forward to a few weeks later and the change slowly began to streak in. At first it felt like I was just in boarding school, then people (from here) went home for the weekend and it began to hit me that I’m a continent away meaning that I can’t go home whenever I feel like it. The difference in weather, food, lifestyle and culture didn’t make it any better. I was beginning to sink and I had to do something about it. I’ve put together a list of things that keep me going whenever I feel like I’m drowning.

  1. Going to church and singing hymns, (the adventist community reminds me of home).
  2. Skype sessions with friends from back home.
  3. Listening to Sauti sol, Elani, Just a band and Hart the Band (good music is therapeutic)
  4. Reciting Desiderata “You are a child of the universe; no less than the moon and the stars, you deserve to be here”

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5. Watching Lupita interviews (she is so elegant and beautiful) and reading This is Ess blog’s (Rusinga vibes) .

6. Sharing my culture with those around me e.g. Mashujaa day through conversation and my dressing (dira, kitenge,maasai sandals)

7. Putting pictures of friends and family around me on my wall.(makes my room feel homely)

8.Getting out of my room and learning more about people.

9.Watching Coke Studio Africa and Real Househelps of Kawangware (yet to do this)

10.Visiting with relatives (so helpful especially when I get to eat Chapo)

11.Taking it one day at a time and enjoying the experience (if you reading this mum and dad, I need a new phone to capture the experiences)

Stay safe, till next time, xx

Advise from my big brother

Good evening lovely people, it melts my heart every time someone compliments my blog ❤

So the past week has been pretty hectic for me, I got my results and got into the University of my choice 🙂 . So Insh Allah I shall be leaving in the next few weeks to conquer the world.

My brother therefore  decided to give me some advise (the trip to Noni’s has never felt so long) regarding guys, friends, sex, drugs the whole shmear. Some things were very awkward to talk about but I appreciate every bit of it.  He mentioned  a few things in particular that I thought I should share with you.

  1. Negging- (Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances) For example, your smile is so pretty it makes up for your ugly ears. What happened to chivalry? where did it go?  Ladies Beware
  2. Bad boys are better than “good guys” who have ulterior motives.
  3. There is nothing worse than an insecure guy, keep off them!
  4. Date all types of guys when your young, don’t be in a rush to commit to one person.
  5. Act like a queen, and you’ll be treated like a queen. (that I kind of disagree with, because I feel every woman should be treated well and with respect)
  6. All guys are after the same thing, need I say more.
  7. PUA – Pick Up Artist. A master in the art picking up babes. So apparently there are guys out there who have studied the psychology of women and perfected the art of picking them up. From far, you’d probably that guy’s game is weak but when he begins to speak for you, you began to heat up. ( Ladies Beware!!) IOI -Indicator of Interest. Jargon used by a PUA. When he is talking to a girl, she will IOI him with subtle things, after three IOIs it is possible to go in for the kiss
  8. Guard your heart
  9. Men are bad, but women have the power to break.
  10. Be careful about who you call your friends. You are an average of your five closest friends
  11. If your the smartest in the room, your in the wrong crowd.

Thanks for reading, I hope you learned something new 🙂

ION I’ve been working on a something for you guys, be in the lookout for it

An ingredient for success

I lie in bed, awakened by a bad dream. “GOD forbid that it comes true”.

I realize that unlike other writers who are inspired by solitude and silence, I am inspired by animosity and chaos.

That is beside the point because  this post is not about me.

As I went to sleep, a few hours ago I began to notice an obvious trend. POTUS arguably the most powerful man in the world was in my country paying homage to the most talented Kenyans e.g. Sauti sol, Eric Omondi and Yego

“Opportunity favours the prepared” is a phrase that I am constantly reminded of. You see your parents may have a lot of money and connections which may increase the opportunities available to you, however if you lack talent, you may never succeed.

Please don’t misquote me, go out and be aggressive because good things don’t come to those who wait instead they come to those who go out and work hard.

In my opinion, it is more important that you work on your talent, don’t just work at being good, work at being the best. This is because people are naturally attracted to the best. I know I probably sound like the next motivational speaker especially to that 14 year old who prioritizes fitting into a world that calls for us to stand out.

If you are wise you shall listen because I have just given you an ingredient for success.

I apologize for my silence, I’ve been working on myself so that the content I produce adds value, if your looking for entertainment go watch Churchill live.

Kind Regards,
Achieng Ochuodho

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Failure before Success

Have you ever undergone a period in your life, where things seem to be going wrong?
Do you know what it’s like when the journey you wish to travel, appears to be too be stormy?
We’ll I happen to be a student and therefore some of the greatest challenges I face are academic. We’ll I wouldn’t say i’m the brightest kid in the school but I usually tend to do fairly well, sometimes even exceptionally well and therefore when things don’t work out I crumble. Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way trying to imply that grades are everything, I just believe that if I need to do something, I must do it to the best of my ability.
Of late I’ve been battling my favourite subject (that’s probably given it away to those who know me well).
It’s like one of those unhealthy relationships where the love seems to be one way, I love it so much but it doesn’t reciprocate the love
It hurts, but I know that I’ve got to stay. I know sometimes I it appears that I blow things out of proportion but it’s just that I am not a good loser. I hate the feeling and I don’t deal with it well. I just hate it when my dreams are jeopardized, I hate it when obstacles come between my goals and I. Yes, that’s one of my weaknesses, I know nothing good ever comes easy and that loosing is just a part of success.
I know that I have to sweat, shed tears, blog and work my butt off. Most importantly, I know that I have to trust in the King up above in order to achieving anything.I know that I have to win and so I must keep at it.The fear of being average keeps me going. I hate mediocrity, I’d rather be a total failure than be mediocre.

Thanks for listening to me rant, I hope it motivates or inspires any person who is in the same or a similar predicament as mine.

I must now sign out and work on achieving my dreams.

Peace ✌

Remember to Keep Nepal in your prayers
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First Love v Tough Love

Here she was, 14 and stupid in love, she knew that he was the man she would marry. Looking back she realises how naive that was of her.
Truth is every thing between the two of them was perfect except from the way he treated her from time to time. He failed to treat her like a princess and she allowed it.  She allowed it to get to her and she began to think of herself as just that.
Their relationship was unhealthy and uncondusive for her and she failed to see it. Then he broke her heart and thank GOD he did, because it got to a point where she needed his validation and acceptance to feel whole as a young lady. The whole situation was a mess  and thank the Lord that day she found strength and she moved on and never looked back. Eventhough it’s been more than four years and they haven’t spoken they still care for each other because that was their first love.
She however doesn’t regret the experience because it has built her into the woman she is today.

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10 Tips from a millionaire

Yesterday, I was honored with the opportunity to attend a talk by a Kenyan Billionaire ,Heshan De Silva  a 26 year old Enterprenuer. This talk was given at Strathmore University by an organisation called AIESEC. (I might have crushed it but that’s a story for another day). In the midst of my excitement, I learned 10 tips which I thought I’d share with you.

1. Rejection is part of the process so take it and grow from it.

2. Stop trying to be a People Pleaser! Be You! Do not pretend to be anyone else.

3.Take risks and persistently  follow through with them, because taking the risk isn’t enough. Be patient, persevere, wait and work on your art until it’s ready for the world.

4. After you first pay, Reinvest in your business.

5.Compromise, Sacrifice and take a Leap of Faith.

6.Always surround yourself with people who know more than you do and around people who support you but still challenge you to grow.

7.Define success for yourself! Don’t use money to do so, use passion instead. “Be known for the for the quality and integrity of your character not the amount of money in your wallet”

8. Be the dumbest person in the room so that every situation is a learning opportunity, because once you think your on the top you stop learning.

9.People will always hate what they do not understand  so let people be people

10.His driving force is Psalms 32:8, Believe in a higher being than yourself so that you can purpose to give Glory to Him rather than to yourself.
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