For all of you who watch YouTube videos , you know how Youtubers exaggarate on their story time. They add both sauce and mayo to the truth.
Well today i’m going to tell you about the time when a WOMAN THREATENED TO SHOOT ME IN HIGH SCHOOL! Keep reading if you want to find out more about that drama!
We are brought up to fear/ respect authority. Yes chances are that if you are an African or even just a black child 9/10 times your parents brought you up to respect your elders. No reason is given as to why you need to respect them other than the fact that they are older than you.
It was recently Mother’s Day and I got a flower(as a mother to be) Amen!
Find yourself a church that preaches good vibes into existence. I mean I’m so excited to be a mom,I love babies and kids so much. Don’t worry mum and dad I hope to go about it in the right way and at the right time. You knew when I’ve settled down and can afford to raise some kids both financially and emotionally, so I can afford to buy my baby Gucci.
I digress though ,The other day I was watching a YouTube channel (Beleaf in Fatherhood), islit on YouTube! Who still watches actual T.V tbh fictional series give make me to nervous so I prefer reality shows.
I digress again, so on the episode of Beleaf , the parents were discussing the effects of spanking children. Spare the rod and spoil the child! I know I will probably chapa my kids too especially if they turn out naughty, which from my taste in men is higly probable. ( hides face)
But if we are being completly honest sometimes the discipline measures taken by our parents taught us fear! Like instead of beating us , sometimes they should have tried to reason with us instead. This is not to say we were brought up badly infact most of us turned out to the most responsible. But the truth is a command and control relationship was often instilled within us. We were never raised to talk to our parents at the same level as young children. We were never allowed to speak where adults were speaking, or talk back when we were being scolded. We were never given the chance to air our views and opinions!
DISCLAIMER , I WAS CHAPAD VERY RARELY (almost never actually before my sibing take digs at me as they were chapad more than me, that’s if they even read my blog)
So we grow up fearing our elders, I remember an incident once in my high school where a girls mother threatened to shoot me for apparently bullying her daughter. So this woman walked into the school bus, called me and two other kids and we were taken into an office. Also present was three other teachers and the womans toddler. The woman then began to scold us then she said it ‘I will shoot you! and then repeated it ‘I will get a gun and shoot you’! Yes all this was in the presence of teachers who stood there like mumus and did nothing to protect us! Yet our parents had left us in their care ( can you tell i’m still slightly bitter lol!) Anyway the teachers and I are cool now they’ll even probably call me back to motivate the kids.
Unfortunately at the time my response to the wicked woman was weak, I just froze and cried because I was taught fear. Looking back in hindsight I wish I stood up for myself and shamed her for her actions! Instead I whined , cried and waited to get home to cry and tell my mother . Who the next day rushed to the school to deal with the matter. I remember my mum walking into the head of school’s office and threatening to sue the woman and the school. (Thanks mum for always being the real MVP).
But I did nothing, in the moment I had to shame this crazy woman and the irresponsible teachers, I did nothing! Because of fear , I feared her not only because she was a crazy woman but because she was an adult. In my feeble mind I set adults at this unrealistic pedestal. In my eyes adults were reasonable people who were to be respected because they could do no wrong in my eyes! See now that I’m an adult I realise that is rubbish! there’s no much difference between adults and children. Adults are just children in disguise covered with experience. And crazy women like here exist btw I wonder pahali life imemfikisha now! I wish I recorded her threats and sued her (probably her husband because I don’t believe she earned her own income) for her assault threats! I wish a ….. could try me today to face the wrath of 2/3 complete law degree lol.
I hope by this point you get the link I’m trying to draw i.e. how spanking may instill fear in kids. Don’t get me wrong , I don’t condemn spanking but I believe sometimes it’s important to build a cordial relationship with children when they are young. It is important to try and reason with children, when they do wrong explain to them why they are wrong and why they need to be sorry. This is more likely to correct their behavoiour than just spanking them. It is also going to break this idea of adults being out of their reach and enable our children to stand up for themselves in situations where adults may attack them.
It’s easier said than done , but hopelly we shall be in touch once on the other side as parents, when I have my own chocolate babies or not. Who knows the plan God has for me, I guess we can really only wait and see.
Until next time, adios!